Marveling at the non-observiness of me

[fenchurch]

And then there's the other thing that happened this last weekend... which sort of deserves its own entry.

I came to a rather startling realization on Friday. It was one of those things that should have been really obvious and after I finally realized what was going on, all sorts of things started to click into place (and not just that feeling that I'd been really, really unobservant).

Our cat Polly is blind. On one hand, I really don't know how we could have missed this... and yet, I think it's been happening to her so gradually that she just adjusted and adapted, so there's no reason we really should have known. It does explain a whole lot, though... like why she is so freaked out by Zoë. Why she constantly acts like Zoë is going to jump out of nowhere and ambush her, even though Zoë's never actually done that (in Polly's perception, just strolling up to her without warning is the same as an ambush). It also explains why she started to relax a little after we put a collar with a tag on Zoë so that she jingles. And why she quit playing with string a few years ago. And why she mostly just stays in the one room downstairs. And any number of other things.

It all came out on Friday... I'd been laying back, reading, and Polly had settled in on my chest. It was then that I noticed she was staring right at me, with the light behind me, and her pupils were fully dilated (the dilated pupils was something I'd noticed with her in the past year, but had just figured it was because she was so freaked out by the new cat). So I wiggled my fingers in front of her face and got no reaction. Hmm... just cat aloofness? (Which, I'll admit, is what we'd been attributing all the other signs to, all this time.) So I slowing and quietly moved a finger closer to one her eyes... and if I hadn't brushed an eyelash, I would have been able to touch her eyeball. She flinched back a bit at that point, but not like she just noticed a finger about to touch her eye... more like she thought something had landed on her face and she was trying to shake it off.

After rackham got home from work, I came up with what was probably the ultimate test... string. It has no real smell, doesn't disturb the air around it and doesn't really block any light. Once upon a time, she used to love to play with string... but she hadn't shown an interest for awhile. Well, I dangled it in front her and she stared blankly through it. And then I brought it over and touched her face with it. After the initial small flinch away, she realized what it was and started to play... having what appeared to be an absolute blast with it! (And yes, here's where I started to feel REALLY guilty, because I quit trying to play with her when she started ignoring string.) But only when it was touching her... if we took it away at all, she'd just sort of freeze as if waiting for it to touch her again. We could dangle it right in front of her face with absolutely no effect, but the moment it touched her, she was off having a great time again.

She's an older cat, around 14/15 years old... and thinking back on it, we're pretty sure she's been going blind for a few years now. Just going back to when she stopped playing with string and when she started getting a bit more jumpy. We'd assumed it was just because she was getting older... now we have a different cause to consider. The thing is, she really has adapted quite well. And over the weekend, we were much more careful around her... making sure we made noise to let us know where we were and who we were, making sure we didn't move things around too much and that there weren't things around that would startle her since she couldn't see them, and she's been responding so well! She's already much more at ease and has started coming upstairs more, just to be closer to us. And did I mention guilt? Oh, yeah... I'm feeling a whole lot of guilt over this.

I'm going to be taking her in to see the vet when I get back from Gen-Con, just to make sure that this isn't a sign of some other illness... and to see if perhaps it's something easily fixable (though, as I said, I think this is a long term problem). Through trial and error, we've determined that she can actually still see large objects, especially if they contrast a lot with their surroundings, and she can sense changes in light... but that's it. Fortunately, I was able to find some info online about blind cats... and supposedly, blind housecats tend to live long and happy lives, as long as care is taken not to drastically change their environment. So, I guess we won't be doing much more rearranging of furniture for awhile.

Comments

[fishsanwitt]

I'm new on your f-list and I just read this.

I'm sending ::hugs:: to you and Polly.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's really been amazing the changes we've seen in her since we realized what was going on and started treating her accordingly. I'm guessing it's got to be quite a relief for her.

[fishsanwitt]

I'm guessing it's got to be quite a relief for her.

I'm sure it is :)

[tomte.livejournal.com]

Don't be too hard on yourself for not noticing. Actually, it sounds like you *did* notice many of the changes, but just attributed them to Polly's advancing age--which is not an unreasonable conclusion. It's not like she could tell you she was losing her sight.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: It's awful when they start getting old. :( But, really, it's not like she was bumping into furniture or anything, so you didn't really have any overt signs that she was losing her sight.

[spikewriter]

Hugs to you and Polly. The condition you've described sounds similar to what Jaffar suffers from. He suffered some brain damage at birth, so he's always had very poor vision. He's now thirteen and a half and has been a happy kitty all his life. Yeah, he gets a bit upset if we move things, but then he enjoys exploring. (He's also still mentally the age of a young cat, so it gets interesting.)

If her health is otherwise good, there's no reason she should be with you a while longer.

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

Don't beat yourself up over this . Cats rely so much on their ther senses that it's not always obvious that they are losing their sight .

Also they adapt well , A friend of ours has a totally blind cat and he has even coped with house moves, learning the layout of his new territory through touch and scent . She helps him by not changing things like furniture about too much and by keeping a " path" clear for him around the walls of each room.

((hugs))

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

It's really amazing how well she's adapted... now that we're aware of the problem, we've been watching what she does, and she's definitely got "landmarks" she looks for when she's on the move. I'm starting to feel not quite so bad about not noticing... because she really did hide it well.

[gamiila.livejournal.com]

Amazing how she's been coping all this time! That is one determined feline you have there.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

I know! It's been kinda fascinating to watch her, now that we know... because we can see how she's worked things out to get around without trouble.

[valkyrie-kitten.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about Polly. I'm actually proud of you that you figured it out now. It's not easy to tell when a cat has gone blind, if they don't have something like cataracts to give a visual signal. I had a friend who's blind cat ruled the house. He would track down the other cats by smell. It was always amazing to watch him lose his patience and track them down to discipline them.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

We've been watching her all weekend, since we figured it out... and it's actually a bit amazing to see what she's done to compensate. And I'm also feeling a little less guilty for not noticing sooner, because she really is doing an excellent job of working around the problem.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

You have to remember that animals are so very, very much more adaptable than we are. And cats use their whiskers and their sense of smell as much as they use their vision to get around. My late Sedna went quite deaf before I actually noticed anything was wrong with her.
Sending along good vibes to all of you and hoping that there isn't anything underlying the blindness but old age.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I really wish I had the time to take her to the vet before my trip, but it's just not going to work. However, I am pretty convinced this is a long-term problem (just the fact that she's been able to hide it so well is evidence of that), so I don't think there's any real urgency to it. Just lingering guilt that I hadn't noticed earlier, which is rapidly decreasing, as we watch how well she's adapted...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

My mother has had cats with failing sight over the years, and her little dog who died recently had also lost her sight as she got older. They all adapted so well that it really does take a while to realise that is what is happening. Scamp even coped with moving house after she went blind, and cats are more intelligent I reckon, so if you do move furniture she will adapt quickly!

[wildrider.livejournal.com]

I understand the guilty feelings - but I was reading at the vet's office that cats hide all illnesses much better than we think, so something like this, where it was so gradual, isn't your fault for not noticing (it could probably happen with adult humans, too! "Why no, I can see just fine!"). And now that you know, it sounds like you can "make up" for the little things. {{{BIG HUGS}}}!

[merripen.livejournal.com]

It's good to know the reasons behind things, isn't it? Like when I found out Casey is on the autism spectrum in addition to being bipolar. Very exciting, while at the same time kind of a slap upside the head because I should have noticed before.

Hugs to you and Polly.

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Oh, the poor baby. But don't feel guilty; just be glad that you've noticed it now and can do what you can to help her. It's good that she has humans who care.

[ayinhara.livejournal.com]

I doubt that Polly is unhappy. Now that you have figured out that she is blind, you can play the string game with her in the new manner. As the other comments have indicated, cats and dogs are adapt quite well to failing eyesight and hearing.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

I don't know that she was unhappy, exactly, but she was pretty much always tense. We've really noticed a difference since we started taking the blindness into account... she's even started coming out of the downstairs room more on her own. And last night she actually sat in my lap in the living room (it's been at least a year since that last happened). Really, the sense I'm getting from her most is relief.

[ayinhara.livejournal.com]

That is probably exactly the case.

O.T. I just discovered a site http://www.archive.org/web/web.php , which lets you recover cached versions of information from sites that have been abandoned, like cousinjeans. Using the site I was able to access and save the first chapter of The Butterfly Effect. I thought I would share that info with you.

[desoto-hia873.livejournal.com]

Poor Polly. But it does sound like she's adapted to not seeing well--perhaps the slow onset helped out with that. And if she still likes to play, then she still has interest in life and that's a good thing.

::hugs to you and Polly::

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

This happened to our cat about a year before she passed away. The first few months she was a little hesitant but she soon adapted and was coping really well. In her case, she had been suffering from kidney issues (which you may have the vet check for) since she was a wee kitten. It finally caught up with her and the blindness was just the next progression. She lived to 17 so she had a good run.

[fenchurche.livejournal.com]

That's the thing I'm most worried about... that it might be caused by something more serious (apparently diabetes, kidney issues and hypertension are the leading causes of blindness in cats). We'll get her in to see the vet when I get back from GenCon... and I keep having to tell myself that she's been going blind for a long time, another week isn't going to make much of a difference.

[zola.livejournal.com]

Fen, it may be something simple as cataracts. If that's the case, you might be able to get her an operation to remove them. Sadly, it's quite expensive, but perhaps, barring other issues, you could arrange to do one eye. Your vet will be able to tell you more.

They are really good at compensating, so don't feel bad that you didn't realize.

[adjrun.livejournal.com]

My kitty Veronique went blind about... a year and a half ago? For her it was sudden, though, so very easy (and worrisome) to spot. She has hypertension, which caused a series of ministrokes and disorientation made her keep walking in these tight little circles. VERY freakout-enducing. She's also got some kidney disease which necessitates putting her on low-protein kibble.

Now that we medicate her daily, she's a lot happier. Apparently the hypertension is like walking around with a headache all the time, which would lead to understandable crankiness. And she gets around fine, she's just careful on the stairs or if climbing on the couch. Jumping is out, natch. She doesn't much like to be picked up, as she has to figure out where the heck she is when she's put back down. She's also gotten some light sensitivity back (her pupils dilate) though I doubt there's much vision along with that.

Anyway, it's been a good year since she lost her sight. And she's happy. I'm sure your kitty, despite the loss of vision, also has much future happy time in front of her.